"Take 5"
Is someone’s behavior upsetting you? Here are five practical actions to help you have a conversation about it:
1. Pause, then approach
- Take time alone to think and re-centre.
- Next, ask for an appointment to speak together, undisturbed, and explain why you would like to have a conversation.
2. State the facts
- During the conversation, describe the situation and what happened that bothered you.
- Be factual.
- Avoid judgements or opinions.
3. Describe the impact
- Describe the impact of the behaviour on you.
- Do not assign blame or make assumptions.
- Use "I" statements.
4. Explain your motivation
- Explain why you are bringing it up.
- Extend the “benefit of the doubt”: the other person may not be aware of the impact of his or her behaviour.
5. Request behavioural change
- Make a request for a change in behaviour.
- Focus on behaviour and not values or personality.
- And be ready to listen to the other person.